well, I've been studying in US for about 4 years. sofar.... It will be by coming fall.. I've been in 2 schools and have met a lot of people at the first school. There were good people and bad people, as it always has been. The point is I feel like I was backstabbed from the people I trusted and moreovefrom the ones I extended my genuine hospitality..... There's a saying that if you are betrayed once that' their fault. If you are betrayed twice, that's your fault...... Besides the feeling of being betrayed from the ones I helped with my heart, this continuing regret that I might have done something wrong kills me... When I came to this school where I am now, I decided to lmite my social life to avoid the possible back-stabbing individuals...... I guess it works pretty well. I have been here for about 1 1/2 years and I only know handful of people in my department, with last-name basis. Nothing pretty much happended in terms of the concern I had.....But I started feeling that my life is meaningless..... I didn't come here to live like this.... School part is OK, but why do I have to live avoidign other human beings, away from my parents, my siblings, and my dear friends that I left in Korea.... Well, I wasn't much of a socilate. I wan't even much of a talker...I was a quiet, shy person, butI liked hanging out with my friends and I had that "care-free' smile that my friends nicknamed me after. I miss OLD ME. I miss that smile I used to have....... What is wrong with me now? bye now