Dear Abbess: So far I've told you what you could do if you want to take an action against the bastard. But obviously you need to achieve three goals. One is to bring him to justice, and the second is to restore your self-esteem, and the last thing is to keep your dignity intact in the community. What's so ironical about it is that the third one is in conflict with the first two. Once you come out of it and reveal what happened, the people around you might treat you differently, and your reputation might be damaged. So whether to take an action really depends on how you feel about this possibility. I've lived in the US long, and feel I have to take an action against him to redeem myself if I were you. I would do what I said above and then transfer to another university. Yes... rumor can be spread through grapevines. But it's indirect information, and if I behave well, it will lose its force in time. Moving to another place is recommendable for you even if you decide not to take an action since it will help you not think about the incident. I think the worst thing is to stay where you are and do nothing and suffer from your anger and despair. Now, about restoring your self-esteem, I would like to recommend you to go see a rape counsellor, as somebody already suggested. Being in the second semester, you are not likely to have a good command of English, but please try. You will be heard kindly and patiently, and you will be able to release your emotions. Please take time and visit the office! What's more, you will be introduced to a support group which probably meets regularly and discusses their traumatic experience and feelings and offer mental support to each other. I think attending a support group meeting will be the best thing to do for now. Nobody can truly share your emotions and pain other than those who actually had the same experience. The members there will embrace you and you will really feel warmth from them. You can attend such meetings where you are or at any place you might move to. Please trust me. It will help you!! -------------------- Abbess, I've tried restrain myself from becoming emotional while writing so far because I wanted to think about what needs to be done from an objective point of view. I do not know how much I said could actually help you, but I will be glad if you get some ideas from it. Again, I would like to send deep sympathy to you and hope you will get yourself together over time. [Damn bastard!!] Final note: Please don't talk about it with any future boyfriend. unless you are 100% sure that he will be able to embrace you despite the incident. It's a sad reality! Many men are not prepared to cope with it. In time you might run into somebody who might be willing to listen to you and comfort you and hopefully help you put an end to it. He could be your boyfriend or an old person who lived long. Whoever it is, wait until then, and keep it to yourself, although it hurts so bad... Good luck!!! karam ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ 잔잔한 물결 ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ karam ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ 잔잔한 물결 ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~