I've got a deep sleep last night. frankly, I felt gloomy yesterday. but now.. I'm not depressed anymore.:) in this mornig, I found a part of my diary. maybe.. that day I wrote my diary, I must have made an effort to change my feeling vividly. Recently somebody told me "You seem to be depressed and very sensitive, What makes you feel so gloomy?" (but I can't tell what is right or wrong, because I don't know. just... I am sure that I have an observing eye! ^^;) I think that refreshment becomes a very important factor as we grow older. also we are complex-thoughted. in fact human being itself is really lonely animal. they look like to live in harmony and try to keep some rules and norms and do not want to break them.. i know that everything does not help to make clear your and my feelings, especially in this such a vague situation. but you should not neglect your reality and future as well. what i love to say to you would become towards me either. life/living talks to me " do not expect a lot." " just you will get few things under the whole your efforts." please do not mind at all over the amount or quality of a future. to be generous , to be humble , love yourself deeply... just keep going... whenever i feel sad i try to make a big smile in front of mirror. i usually say and promise to me.. like that "everything should be fine, to be positive , to organise well under the control... you must love me more and more.." i cried and cried in the mean time i suddenly recognised that crying deos not work.. and start eating and talking. afterwards i thought about the huge amount of what I have to do without any emotions i was able to concentrate the reality of mine at that time... dear my friends.. i really believe everything whatever belongs to your will. please love your past and present. it will provides you the way to manage your future well.. of course i am trying to do over and over..